Draco spits the dummy
by Shyx
Summary: People have been writing nasty, untrue things about Draco and he's mad! One shot sillyness


Title: Draco chucks a Hissy fit  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own… yada yada  
  
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So there I was, sitting peaceably at my computer waiting for an idea to strike when…  
  
"I'm sick of it!" Draco Malfoy stormed through the doorway and began pacing the room.  
  
"Sick of what?"  
  
"Oh don't pretend you don't know what's going on out there." Draco pointed viciously at my modem. "What shit those *Authors* are pulling."   
  
"Now Draco, there's no need to insult people-"   
  
"Need? Need! There is plenty fucking need!"   
  
"Draco would you just calm down and tell me what's wrong? I'll help you out!"  
  
Draco stopped dead in his tracks and spun to face me, bloody murder written all over his face.  
  
"You'll help me out, will you? As if you're so innocent!" Draco lowered his voice to a harsh, dangerous whisper. "You're as guilty as the rest of them. Don't think I don't know what your story's about. I know what you're up to."  
  
Of course by now I'm a little alarmed. Draco goes through mood swings like Longbottom goes through cauldrons. But this, it seemed, was more serious than what I'd first thought.  
  
"I don't understand; what have we done? If you're talking about those jokes I cracked about your hair, I'm sorry. I only did it because I think your hair is so goddamn sexy."  
  
I held my breath and waited. Usually comments about how drop dead gorgeous Draco was turned him into a purring kitten.  
  
"YOU MADE JOKES ABOUT MY HAIR??!!!"  
  
Ah shit. Draco looked just about ready to explode; his face was splotchy and his jaw had a tick. He looked like he was making a move for his wand.  
  
"Only because I was jealous!"  
  
"I don't believe you." Uncertainty flicked over his face.  
  
"Oh absolutely! You know, I hate the fact that my hair will never be as silky as yours. No product could ever recreate your natural shine." Draco frowned, but slowly his hand left the vicinity of his robes.   
  
"That's still no excuse!"  
  
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Now, what is this other thing that I'm so guilty of doing?"   
  
Draco's eyes went cold again. I was racking my brains. What had I and countless others done to Draco, that would piss him off so much?  
  
"You made me..." Draco's breath hitched in anger. "You made me GOOD!"  
  
I did something at that point that I probably shouldn't have. I giggled. Draco, who had been watching my face closely for a reaction, started to turn purple with rage.   
  
"DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME!"  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry," giggling, "I don't," more giggling, "mean it!" full blown laughter ended my reply.  
  
"Oh sure you can laugh! You're the one who made me that way! I'm bad for Merlin's sake!" Draco stomped his foot. "Very Evil!!"   
  
I was only chuckling now.  
  
"But no! No one is willing to accept the facts, are they? Why can't you people see that I'm evil? Rotten to the core! Bad to the bone! A sadistic bigot! A Death Eaters son! A Slytherin! What more do I need to do to convince you people to leave me be!" Draco stuck out his bottom lip, pouting.  
  
I was quite impressed by this little rant, even if the pouting took away from the overall affect. I'd never thought Draco would have gotten so offended over something like this.   
  
Truth be known, I'd expected a rant some day. But I'd always thought it would be from Heterosexual!Draco (you know how people do that like Sexy!Snape and Pervert!Dumbledore) over why everyone insists he and Harry are perfect for each other.  
  
My thoughts on how to reply to Draco were interrupted when one puffing Harry Potter burst through the door.   
  
"Draco! Thank God you're here!" Draco looked up startled.  
  
"Potter, what the f-"   
  
"There's no time for explanations! Draco, we're under attack and we need you! Quickly, we have to get going!"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere with-"  
  
I watched with a bemused expression as Harry tugged on Draco's arm towards the door.   
  
"Stop that!" Draco swatted at Harry's hands trying to detach him.   
  
"Draco this is no time to play games! Come on already!" Deaf to Draco's protests, Harry started dragging him out of the room.  
  
"No! No, you can't do this! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"   
  
Draco's scream of protest became muffled as they moved out into the corridor; I strained to hear what was going on.  
  
"Enough already, I - oh fuck it!" Draco's voice rang through the wall and the sound of shuffling feet could be heard. "I'll go! You win! I give up! You can't seem to take no for an answer! But I'll walk, thank you very much. It's undignified to be dragged."   
  
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End file.
